“Grand Old Ladies” by Lo Cast

The stillness of the night was still lingering as I stepped outside. The air was cool, not quite crisp, and held the promise of shorter, cooler days soon to come. The squirmy little one I held in my arm sniffed with anticipation. This was her time. I set her down and grabbed the leash as she began to trot with determination. We found our rhythm instantly and I breathed deeply, for this was my time also. Destinations silently beckoned and, since it had been a few days, it was time to go visit the grand old ladies.

 

We made our way down the dimly lit street. This morning, our passing goes all but unnoticed; there was little traffic and few pedestrians. We keep an ever watchful eye as we pass alleyways. Their yawning chasms of murkiness provide the perfect cover for anyone wishing to cause mischief. Onward.

We start and stop, start and stop. Curly tail held high, the little girl springs from tree to hydrant to light posts and every place in between. I wait patiently as she gathers the invisible information each sniff has to offer. She too, has her favorite places, as she smells intently only here and there.

 

Our quest takes us around the corner to where traffic is bustling and the blushing sky can be seen just above the dark, somber buildings. It will be completely light soon. Perfect. We will be able to see the ladies in their finery by daylight by the time we labor up the hill.

 

On the main drag, we run a gauntlet of trash cans and recycle bins; trash pick-up occurred only hours, or perhaps minutes, earlier. This part of town, like its residents, live life unapologetically out in the open. It is in your face and all its ugliness assaults the senses.

 

The younger men, the Grand, Bryan Place, and the Hamilton Hotel stand sentinel, as they have for the largest part of a century or more. Their finery is simple and clean with just a hint of embellishment here and there; a curlicue of decorative molding, a bit of exterior trim or an exaggerated arch lend a bit of playful fanciness to their stoic demeanor. However, these gentlemen are not whom we are seeking, although they do show me a bit more of themselves each time I pass.

 

We trudge the steepness of hill, ever closer to our destination, barely noticing our labored breath. Just one more corner and a bit more of a hill and we will be there. As predicted, the sky’s blush dims as the sun begins to steal the serenity of the morning. We pass churches, without a glance. I have never had an interest in the snooty, judgmental edifices. Their flagstone veneer, arched doorways, and stained glass windows are pretentious and snobby, much like the nouveau rich. No, I am seeking ladies of class and elegance, which is the very fiber of their existence.

 

A wrought iron fence leads me to the first one. She is on the left. The ones on the right are much younger, beautiful nonetheless, but cannot hold a candle to the ladies I seek. The trees in front demurely shield their glory like a faithful servant; a hush of reverence surrounds and pays homage to these damsels. A determined pedestrian misses none of the finery in which they are adorned. Her neighbor is the grandest of all. In each detail, a statement of her upbringing is told, despite the indignities to which recent generations have subjected her by making as many apartments of her grand space as possible.

 

I linger and drink in her grandeur, an appreciative eye noting the graceful porch pillars, the classy bunting permanently falling in delicate waves around each window. Her marble facade bespeaks her quiet wealth. I stare, noting detail after detail. Like the lady she is, her dignity is there for all to see. Her secrets are her own, yet she hides nothing. I love this grand old lady the most. Slowly, I make my way to her neighbor, loving the Grecian columns and balcony that surely must have welcomed partygoers with warmth and gaiety. Each lady I pass has her own distinction, makes her own contribution. I am in a dream world where time has no meaning.

 

The little one brings me back to the present. She has sniffed all there is to sniff and her tail is drooping her fatigue. The spring in her step is a regular little trot now. Reluctantly, I sigh. With one last lingering look, I nod to the grand old ladies, and turn the corner.

“Drunken Walk” by Victoria Carter

Deeper and deeper we sink

into the lust of us.

Are we just living

or merely surviving?

F

A

L

L

I

N

G

 

Past this perception we call reality.

Hold onto it,

then drift into imagination.

 

Tell me why the moon hits your face,

and reminds me of that place

of neither peace nor virtue, but

S

A

N

I

T

Y and reality.

 

Letting me know that there’s

more to life than the bliss

of lonesome nights.

 

Walk in the direction of the unknown

for the earth is my home.

The trees whisper in my ear

they tell me, it’s so clear.

 

Birds from above

Shadow me, unloved.

The rocks bellow

they know it’s frigid.

 

The alcohol it numbs,

and that feeling it comes.

Don’t live in my head,

Can’t see that it’s dead.

 

Look to the sky, can’t say goodbye.

Tell yourself it’s okay

though you know you can’t stay.

“Sister” by Lauren Daye

Younger sister

Your innocence used to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

I remember when I craved the purity that you held in your gentle grip

I remember when I spoke of sex, your virgin body would get stiff and your cheeks would burn red

 

I remember when you looked at your bumpy body in the mirror, and you were content

 

Oh, younger sister

Did you believe that you wouldn’t lose your self-worth?

Did you ever imagine a day where you would obsess over the temple that god gave you?

Did you think you could keep your innocence stored behind all of your oversized clothes?

 

If I told you that a year from now you’d be starving yourself before every meal,

Would you believe me?

 

Little sister

You are not defined by the sickening social ideal of an attractive woman

Just because your love handles hang over the edges of your too-small jeans

It does not mean that you are flawed

 

Oh, Little sister

When you look in the mirror do you see yourself as a fuckdom?

Do you respect the naked little girl who looks back at you?

When did you lose your innocence?

 

It is crazy that I don’t recognize your voice anymore

You spend hours telling me how losing your virginity made you into a woman

And that as your bodies clashed in the woods, you were so in love

Do you believe the words you spat out of your mouth?

 

And after he left you, did you believe that your body was a battle field?

Did you care whether the razor cut too deep?

Did you give yourself a limit to your madness?

Sister, I know your heart is broken, but will you please keep this meal down?

 

Tiny sister

Just a month ago you told me that you preferred death

You began playing Russian roulette, swallowing pills to mask the sadness

Putting beer bottles to your lips to hide the pain

Is it working?

Do you have purpose as he presses his lips against your neck and says that you’re fuckable

 

Well tiny sister

Does it make you feel sexy when the skin of your sunken belly wraps around your boney hips?

Are you proud of the weight-obsessed girl you see in the mirror?

 

Are your secrets exciting?

When we eat out does your heart race as you walk to the bathroom?

Do you get a high?

 

Don’t you fucking tell me you were just fixing your make-up

 

Vanishing sister

Your war-torn body is no longer as sturdy as it used to be

But I see the pain erupting from your hazel eyes, I know you’re trying to escape

Stop holding yourself back

 

Oh, vanishing sister

Don’t you see that you are worth more?

More than how much food you can get out of your stomach

More than how a man touches your boney little body

More than how your silhouette looks in the mirror

You are worth so much more

 

Younger sister

A year from now you will be purging your thanksgiving meal into mom’s bathroom toilet

Your thighs will be etched with tally marks of how many times your heart has been broken

 

Innocent younger sister

I know that you are so young right now and this doesn’t make sense

But it will

Please, imagine your beautiful body laying at the morgue

Can you see yourself there?

How does it make you feel?

Never wish death upon yourself, put the razor back in the drawer where it came from

 

Younger sister

I have missed you so much

I miss the way you used to lay with me on the couch eating jars of Nutella

I was so jealous of how you knew that behind every pound of fat on your body

You were beautiful

 

Sister

You are beautiful

“Dreams” by Anonymous

I dream of a house

Where books fill the shelves

I read through them all

And find my true self

 

I dream of a time

When people don’t lie

I know my true friends

And they don’t connive

 

I dream of a man

Who is not a sleaze

I give him my all

And he never leaves

 

I dream of a family

That would understand

I know they won’t judge

But would lend me a hand

 

I dream of a life

Where I could break free

I know I could fly

And you all could see

 

I dream of a day

When my dreams come to life

And the dreams that I have

Are no longer at night