Tag: Autumn Gray

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It’s Been Six Years Momma by Autumn Gray

Autumn Gray

It’s Been Six Years Momma

Six years since the circle of life took its course, taking the only real love I’ve ever known, like a dream replaced with inevitability, she vanished, why didn’t she fight harder, then I could have braced for impact. Time passed, my selfish needs took me away from what I thought would last forever, now I’m sick, not the same, convincing the hecklers inside my head that it’s only a joke, blaming divinity, because I’m the victim, she left me, I have no one, I love her, I miss her, my mother gone too soon.

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Survival by Autumn Gray

Autumn Gray

Survival

It’s as if my feet have been drenched in gasoline and my heels are made of sulfur,
After burning every bridge I have had the privilege of walking on,
It’s time to start over.
As I look at my reflection while brushing my teeth,
I see the story of my life written in the lines on my face—
Smile lines given to me by the mask I wear to disguise the voices lingering in my head,
Frown lines above my brow coming from my confused “Why me again, Lord” face,
Bags that showed up at my front door from carrying the weight of held back tears for so many years—
And in that moment I realize that it may be too late. I’m tired of fighting.
Some might say it’s just an excuse not to get up, to get motivated, or to live.
But in my case living has been exhausted, and survival is my main priority.