Autumn Gray
Survival
It’s as if my feet have been drenched in gasoline and my heels are made of sulfur,
After burning every bridge I have had the privilege of walking on,
It’s time to start over.
As I look at my reflection while brushing my teeth,
I see the story of my life written in the lines on my face—
Smile lines given to me by the mask I wear to disguise the voices lingering in my head,
Frown lines above my brow coming from my confused “Why me again, Lord” face,
Bags that showed up at my front door from carrying the weight of held back tears for so many years—
And in that moment I realize that it may be too late. I’m tired of fighting.
Some might say it’s just an excuse not to get up, to get motivated, or to live.
But in my case living has been exhausted, and survival is my main priority.