Category: themed issue

She reached for a hand

That wasn’t there.

She looked into eyes

That weren’t staring back.

She leaned in for a kiss

That would never come.

She laughed at a joke

That was never said.

She brushed hair out of a face

That wasn’t there.

She felt a hole in her heart

That would never be filled.

That aching of once was

But will never again be.

 

The queen hates today, for it is not just any day. No, it is the 14th of Frogg, and that means it’s Oggling day. It is the only day of the year when everyone (including the queen and excluding me because….well because I can) has to be nice to one another. They also have to talk in rhymes the entire day, since this story wouldn’t be as good without it. She knew this day was coming, but she still couldn’t prepare enough. It’s bad enough having to live on a moon that circles the planet Crescendon, what with it constantly pumping out music. Maybe she can just stay in her big gray castle in her big gray bed eating her favorite box of Graysin Bran Crunch cereal. It’s not like there is anyone in the castle who could come by and bother her any-

“My queen, my queen!” cried Ten, who I forgot about completely when writing that last sentence, “there’s something that you need to see!” The queen groans and slowly rolls out of bed only to crash to the floor. Ten wants to help her up but he’s just a big grey blob, it’s not like he can do anything to help. Plus he knows the queen gets a kick out of doing things only she can do.

“What is it, Ten? I hate to be disturbed. Couldn’t you come in without saying a word?”

“The people have gathered and now they are waiting! We must get to them with little delaying!”

So much for staying in bed. Might as well get this over with, the queen thinks to herself as she gets up from the floor. Then it hit her: maybe she can stop this whole day completely. Yes, there is one in Oggland that can help her with this problem, and she knows he will still be in his workshop. A grin spreads on her face, exposing her razor sharp fangs. Today might not be a bad day after all.

Six was almost finished his latest creation, the Rainbot 5000. True, it didn’t serve any actual purpose and true, it hasn’t been tested but he can get test results from 62 later. He always did like 62, since 62 never disagreed to anything. He still has time to tweak his new Rainbot before the gathering starts. Not like anyone would disturb him in the middle of hi-

“Six, I need your help today. Make the gathered Oggs go away,” rhymed the queen, once again interrupting my narrative as she bursts into his workshop. Six turns to the queen, his glasses reflecting her dark red eyes.

“What do you want, a giant Ogg? Maybe I can make all the toilets clog….”

“Just do something, and do it fast.  Only 4 more pages this story can last.”

With that Yoda-like line from the queen, Six mulls over his choices. While clogging the toilets seems like a funny idea, Two will probably try to unclog it with Six’s toothbrush…again. A giant Ogg is actually impossible to make, he just said that for rhyming purposes.  There must be something he can use….

Then it hits him, and I mean literally hits him. The valve from the Rainbot 5000 flew off and collides with Six’s head. In between his large thoughts of pain and agony, a bright idea comes to him. This is the perfect opportunity for the Rainbot 5000! He grins and turns back to the queen.

“I’ll use my Rainbot, which I made with care. That should give them quite a scare!”

“See to it, Six, and don’t dilly dally. Come on Ten, let’s get to that rally,” says the queen. When the door slams shut, Six begins working on the machine for operation. Soon everyone will know the true genius that is Six…! Or at least they’ll stop calling him nerd boy, though probably not.

The queen finally arrives at the gathering, her black form looming over the other gray blobs. Her platform is much smaller than she expected, though with the cutbacks she had made over the past year it was no surprise. The cutbacks are unneeded mind you; she just needs more money to pay for her cereal addiction. She steps onto her platform and looks out over the crowd, and all goes silent. The queen is beginning to get worried. Whatever Six is going to do it better happe-

“Look, up in the sky! It…makes me want to cry,” cries 220. I don’t even know why I bother narrating for these things anymore.

Ten blobs over the podium. “There’s your distraction, my queen. One lean, mean, colorful rainbow machine.” The Oggs are not very concerned about the rainbow, however, since it can’t really hurt any-

“It’s going to eat us!” shrieks 498, even though I just said it was harml-

“The end is nigh!” sobs 96. They are not listening to m-

“I need an adult!” yells 50, who has officially crossed the line. If they want an evil rainbow they will get an evil rainbow. So let’s do this instead:

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the rainbow bends down and begins sucking up the Oggs at the gathering! Hmmm…good, but not good enough. Let’s say a rogue Spice Girls song from the planet Crescendon hits the moon and causes the normal rainbow to become a Spicy Rainbow. Now that is something to fear.

“Six, fix this now. I don’t care how,” demands the queen. There is only so much “If You Wanna Be My Lover” one queen can take. The Oggs were of secondary concern, it’s not like she has 456,789 of them or anything. If the music stops she may even consider calling the crisis over and just letting the rainbow do its thing. Then again fewer Oggs means fewer forces for invasions. But what if Two is eaten in the process of letting this thing rampage? It’s a big dilemma for the queen. It was then that the rainbow dipped down into the queen’s cereal production factory, sucking up one of the ten Graysin Bran cereal vats.

Now it’s personal.

Ten turns to the queen, and sees the fangs jutting from her mouth as she scowls. There is one very obvious answer to this solution; I may as well try to get her to do it, he thinks to himself.

He inches closer to the queen. “Maybe you should apologize? That seems to be the most wise.”

“I will not say I’m sorry, no way! I will not be nice on Oggling day!”

Ten is actually right for once. A simple apology to me can end this situation really quick. The queen, however, has yet to see this for herself.

Six blobs over to podium now too. “Just say it already and be done. It’s not like you have to become a nun.” The rainbow has picked up nine of the ten vats now, and is preparing to go for the last. The queen hesitates. Me? Be nice? She thinks to herself, I shouldn’t have to be, I’m the queen! The rainbow is now bending down into the factory. If she is to apologize, it better be right now. The queen looks over at the rainbow, and then down at the Oggs below, who are now staring at her. The spicy rainbow is only inches from the vat now. In just a few more seconds the vat will be up in the ai-

“On behalf of my subjects, I’m sorry!” yells the queen, staring into the sky. The rainbow stops dead in its tracks. The Spice Girls music fades. “We shouldn’t have interrupted the story so many times. I should just learn to be nice to people on this one day of the year.” I’m surprised the rainbow actually worked. Well I guess I don’t need it anymore. Through the power of narration the rainbow vanishes, releasing all of its captive Oggs and cereal vats.

The queen gives Six a pat on the back.

“I want you all to remember this, okay? This is another reason to cancel Oggling day.” The queen steps down off the platform and proceeds to eat a giant box of Graysin Bran in her room.

With that, our story comes to a close. If there is one thing to gain from this story just remember this: being nice to people on one day of the year shouldn’t displease to the point of almost getting everyone killed. Well that and don’t interrupt people in the middle of stories. That’s just rude.

 

 

Each word you say

Makes an impact,

Touches someone’s life,

Builds them up

Or breaks them down,

Gives them wings to fly

Or chains to hold them down.

 

Why not make the word a good one?

 

A pinch. That’s what it felt like. Resa’s nails eased under an iridescent scale until it met something like flesh. Each scale she ripped off faster than the last. A cloud of red plumed from each one but took mere seconds to dissipate.  Where she expected to see the glittering of exposed flesh, she only saw a shade of smooth, dry honey. The plates began to come off in sheets before long. She was like a child peeling off scabs. No matter how much blood was shed, she got satisfaction in the act.

One became two and soon she had reached her goal. She watched as the final silver scale cast a rainbow on the chasm walls as it drifted to the sea floor. She spread her limbs awkwardly and kicked them around. Finally. Finally. She looked up at the surface and imagined him looking down.  He could see her now. He would be able to see her and not panic about how strange she looked. She looked just like that new woman that she always saw him walking with.

She swam towards the rippling image in her mind. She swore she could even see him smiling at her, the laugh lines around his thin lips creasing.  A pain migrated through her limb and rouge raised in front of her sight. When she looked down she saw a flash of grey darkness fly underneath her.  The blood from her transformation had attracted a shark.

But it was okay. She could easily swim away from it, she always did before. She went to kick but found she only moved minutely.  She tried again and again but barely covered any distance, especially not enough to get away.  She looked down at the awkward feet that were flailing around and she could see a darkness growing larger. This time the pain took both feet and yanked her to the side. She grasped at the water like it was solid enough to hold onto but it always slipped between her fingers.

Now there was red glistening flesh and she watched her beautiful new legs being torn away. Its teeth ripped through sinews in her limbs that she didn’t know she had and she cursed how fragile these legs were. She tried to kick again but only found the bones shattering and breaking as the shark held tight.

She kicked one more time but this time she found her eyes jolting open as her tail smacked hard against the sediment bed.  There was no shark and she was so far down she couldn’t see the surface of the water. She wasn’t sure whether she should be relieved or disappointed. She wasn’t being attacked by a shark, but she didn’t have beautiful legs anymore.

She laid back and weaved her fingers through her hairline.  A fire shrimp crawled on the rock next to her head and the bright red of its legs reminded her of the awful dream she just rose from. What are the chances of something like that actually happening? If she were to miraculously shed her tail and have legs just like him how would her life change? Is that really what she wanted? Of course it was… right?

She reached over and began to dig lightly under a coral shelf nearby. When her hand emerged she was pinching a small shining object between her fingers, a gold band with an angular rock that looked like glass, but shined like a pearl. It was his. She remembered him throwing it into the water one day, the way the light filtered through it mesmerized her and she couldn’t let it fall. As she caught it she twirled around to gaze upon him. He looked out upon the sea, in a manner she had never seen before. He paced a few steps forward, his feet meeting the water, and he tensed more with each step. Sometimes he would fidget and turn back around toward the shore, but four times (she counted) he slowly turned back around, his eyes watching the water before rising to the horizon and he would start walking again.

The fifth time that he turned around he was pulling his hair, and kicking at the water as if he could hurt it. She could see how he longed for the sea, and she was overcome with a type of emotion she was almost unfamiliar with. It was not pity, but sympathy. She wanted to help him, but she knew he would only turn away if he saw her. Seeing her would destroy any desire he had for the sea.

She returned almost every day after that to see if he was there. Sometimes he was, but he never looked at the sea the same way he did that day.

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway. She could sit there all day long and ask herself crazy questions or fixate over him and it would only throw her into an anxious panic. She kicked up and began to swim, somewhere, anyway. She couldn’t just lie there with her thoughts anymore. With each friend and family member that she passed, she reflected on how beautiful they were. Their silver tails all glistened like angel fish, hues of white and yellow. Sometimes if the rays from the surface hit them just right they would shine the most spectacular blue.

But these things, these beautiful things, were only beautiful to them. He wouldn’t find them beautiful. In his eyes they wouldn’t even shine. They would only look like a pale grey minnow.  This idea shook her to her core. She would never be beautiful to him. She sat down on a large thrown of coral and covered her face with her eyes. Was she really that ugly?

She shook her head. She had to stop thinking these thoughts. While she sat there in her sorrow a young girl and her mother floated by. It looked like the mother was consoling her.

The girl looked like your average 14 year old, with an emphasis on average. Her eyes were small and he cheeks were round instead of angular. There was nothing particularly attractive about her.

“Don’t you ever listen to what those girls say. You are beautiful, especially to me.” The girl must have gotten her looks from her mother who was also particularly plain. The older woman ran her hand over the girls light brown hair, not quite brunette but not quite blond.

“Mom, stop. I don’t want you to lie to me just to make me feel better” she moaned as she ducked her head out from under her mother’s hand.

“Crysta, how many times do I have to explain it? Nobody’s perfect. Those girls certainly are not.” The mother swam in front, turning around to stop the movement. “Look at your beautiful eyes, Crysta. Such a pretty blue.” She wasn’t lying. They were a light color, but not grey. They were this shade of blue when the light hit her scales just the right way, a pearly blue.

There was honesty in the mother’s voice. This plain young woman was regarded as beautiful by at least one person. She’d probably even be married to a man one day that thought the same. Resa didn’t want to think about it. She lifted herself and began to swim toward the surface. The closer she got, the more colors there seemed to be shining through the light rays.  A large shadowy mass was just above the surface. Not a shark like in her dreams.  There was about ten feet left and the shadow was splitting into two.

When she finally was only two feet from the surface she could see clearly. Him. But he wasn’t alone. That woman was with him. She wore a short summer dress that showed off her lanky pale legs. Resa lived deep in the water and her skin was darker than this wretch.  What could he see in her? What wasn’t she seeing? She must have seemed beautiful to him or he wouldn’t even bother.

She dropped down just enough below the surface that they couldn’t see her if they did fancy glancing in the water.  Certainly if he thought she was beautiful, Resa would be irresistible.  She hurried back to her burrow and her long black hair slapped against her back with the force of her speed.  She had never felt so much hope. She didn’t want to assume his standards were so low, but it would be the only thing that made her believe she had a chance.

She curled up in the sand where she slept. A smile inerasable on her face. She brought her tail to her chest, hugging it. Was it really that bad? No. It made her unique. It was something that made her beautiful. Much more beautiful than the thin pale legs that the other woman had. She felt proud of her tail, every single silver scale.

She dreamt of him again that night, but without the shark. They were hand in hand. She showed him everything beautiful about the sea. The gorgeous shells and the rainbows of fish. She even introduced him to her family and they were extraordinarily understanding. She woke with the smile still plastered across her face. She wanted this dream to come true. As long as he didn’t even know she was there every day, it would never happen. She had to make this dream come true with her own hands.

As she swam she did twirls and flipped like a dolphin. The excitement was so overwhelming. Is this what love felt like? She could only imagine.  She didn’t want to rush things but she couldn’t slow down.

She reached the surface and just like every day he was there. She was there too but it didn’t matter. Resa burst through the surface of the water for the first time and she let him see her.

Human expressions were so different so she didn’t bother to pay much attention to how he looked at her. He must have thought she was perfect!

She was so overwhelmed by all of her thoughts. She had been so brave. She couldn’t stop there. She had to win him over right now.

She propelled herself up with a swift jolt of her fin and wrapped her wet arms around his shoulders. His shirt absorbed the salty water and it wasn’t long before he was soaked. The water didn’t seem to bother him. Perfect!

With everything going so well she knew this was her chance. She drew him in and tried to mimic the things that she saw from other couples. She slammed her lips against his and squeezed him tightly.

His hands found her shoulders and her waist with force. How amazing! This was exactly what she thought would happen. He wanted to touch her. He wanted Resa.

She pulled back and carried him into the water. She never imagined that he would accept her so much.  She had to make this more special.

She led him down into the water more until her sleek raven hair swirled around him. His hands slid down until he found scales and he seemed to apply more pressure.

He accepted her tail? He did, he did! She pulled him in tighter. He seemed to move more and more against her. He was truly getting into this kiss.

It seemed to last for hours. Everything outside of her lips on his no longer mattered. When she was about to pull away he stopped writhing against her. He was finally taking the kiss the way she wanted him to, gently and lovingly.

She drew back and he stayed still in her arms. She imagined that when she opened her eyes she would see him looking tenderly back at her. She put a lot of effort into that act. Wanting to make sure that she didn’t make any strange faces and that she looked as beautiful as possible. His eyes looked back.  A light grey color throughout. A pearly white without the shine.

She moved from side to side but his eyes did not seem to follow. She let him go and he made no effort to swim. He leaned back and began to fall toward the sea floor. She thrust forward again to catch him but there was no reaction. She shook him lightly trying to wake him from his daze and she even spun him around to show him that she had given him what only she knew he wanted. He was in the ocean. But he didn’t respond. She didn’t get to see that smile she had so hoped that she would bring him. At least he wasn’t panicking, but he wasn’t happy. Her only choice was to take him back up. Like in her dream, he obviously could not swim with his weak legs, so she held him by the arm and swam toward the surface again, throwing him on the pier when she got the chance.

A scream erupted from the other woman and she scrambled backward toward the beach. “He’s dead, my God, he’s dead!”

Resa’s eyes grew wide and she couldn’t imagine that being true. The woman threw a terrified look in her direction.  Sand found her fingertips as she tried to pull herself further away. “There’s some kind of monster in there. A fish or a witch. Something! A monster!”

A monster? She wasn’t a monster. She was beautiful. She dived into the water as more people with horrified looks stormed the beach.

She wasn’t a monster. No, no, not at all.

She ripped at her hair and thrashed in the water as each shriek from the shore seemed to actually cause her physical harm. He couldn’t be dead. She was beautiful and she gave him what he longed for. She wasn’t a monster. That couldn’t be possible. Monster. No. Hideous beast. Not at all. How could these people see her like that? She thought she was beautiful.

 

 

 

See me.

I’m yellow, orange and red

 

Chase me.

I’m falling fast, caught on the wind

 

Catch me.

As I fall and settle to the ground

 

Pick me up.

It’s not too late,

Your gloved hands moving near my face

 

Hold me.

It’s not too late,

As my edges curl into the ground

 

Protect me.

It’s not too late,

My brittle spine’s crackling in the wind

 

Hidden, and Covered.

As the snow drifts down.

 

Find me.

It’s not too late,

With the weight bearing down

 

Help me.

It’s not too late,

The rain’s coming, whisking me away

 

Remember me.

 

The wall in our old house has a crack,

Not long, but deep

Like the crack in my skull

The one from last December

When the Cadillac hit and we woke up in separate rooms.

 

Sometimes I stay up at night

And I walk in circles around our neighborhood

Because I forget I am already home.

Our house is in the middle of the labyrinth

But if I am Theseus, you are Ariadne

And I have left my ball of string behind.

I am no hero.

 

The only reason I ever knew where I was

Is because you were there too

And that was home because you told me so.

But I have left you on your island,

And can’t find the way back.

 

I was never good with maps or directions

Or even remembering which drawer holds the silverware

or which cabinet the guest towels go in

But you knew where everything belonged

So with you I knew my place.

 

Without you, I don’t know what color goes with the new carpet

But I took all the paint swatches

And my tangled ball of string

and laid them out on our bed

And I never slept there again.

 

The crack in the wall will never be fixed

and the walls will never be painted

And the guest towels will have to learn to live with ours

Because I can’t remember how to get home.

I can’t see our house in the dark.

 

But I remember the crack in the wall,

And sometimes, if I squint just right,

I can’t see it anymore, either.