Category: themed issue

I watch as Lili analyzes the birds as they arch across the sky. She mimics them as they fold their wings and dive toward the earth then swoop back up. The smile on her face is one of pure wonder and delight. I follow her as she runs in the tall grass, her white-blonde hair swaying with every step. A sound from the back porch draws her attention, and fear flashes across her crystal blue eyes. Maddox strides across the porch in two large steps and has the little girl by the arm in seconds. He looks down at his young daughter with bitterness and disdain. I watch silently as he squeezes her arm tighter, no doubt leaving dark bruises behind on her porcelain skin. “Lili, I told you not to leave your room, get your ass back inside!” She quivers with fear and lets out a small whimper as he releases her arm and kicks her toward the house. She runs inside and scampers up the stairs to her room.

 

I scrutinize the man who calls himself her father. A tall, foul man with a beer gut bulging over his jeans, and dirty boots laced up to his ankles. He has the face not even a mother could love and is balding on the top of his round, egg-shaped head. He slowly saunters back inside the house and doesn’t notice when I quietly follow in behind him. He grabs a beer from the fridge and plops down in front of the TV and pays no mind to me. I soon get bored and ascend the stairs to look for young Lili. I find her crouched down in the corner of her room, crying silent tears as she longingly looks out the grimy, dirt encrusted window. I recall the day her mother died and left the poor child to be raised by her father. She died during childbirth, and Maddox never forgave the young child for taking away the only woman he ever loved. He blamed her from the very beginning and could never let go of the past. Lili looks so much like her mother, which only heightens Maddox’s rage for her.

 

When she is not being abused by him she is hiding from him in her room, day dreaming about anything but the life she inhabits. She sees princesses, dragons, fairies, and castles! She’s the ruler of her kingdom and lives with all of the lovely creatures that roam her dreams. I concentrate on her thoughts and slip seamlessly into her mind. The world here is a forest of green with pastel colors splattered across the canvas. Animals are jumping and frolicking through the trees, and fairies are lounging beside ponds, conversing with mermaids who are resting on large, warm stones. The sky is one vast rainbow of colors as painted birds glide with the evening breeze. Lili flies on top of dragons and relishes the warm, light wind throwing her hair every which way. She then lies in the grass and looks up at the sky and picks shapes out of clouds. “There’s a bunny! Oh! There’s a flower,” she exclaims. A rumble in the distance startles her, and as she scrutinizes the sky she sees it start to darken and grow grim. The animals move swiftly to find cover from the storm, but Lili knows that there is no use. The storm will come and find her no matter where she runs.

 

She gets shaken back to reality and looks up at her father glaring at her with such venom she wishes she could shrivel up and disappear. I get forced out of her head as she becomes more focused on reality. Her father is standing over her, screaming at her with spittle escaping his lips to land on her ashen face. She cowers in the corner and tries to make herself as small as possible. He yanks her up by her hair and smacks her small face with the back of his hand. She cries out from the pain and tries to wriggle out of his grip, but he is much stronger than she could ever be. His hand grips her neck as he crushes her windpipes and cuts off her air flow. Her face slowly turns from pink to blue, and I wait for the inevitable outcome. The sole reason for why I’m here. She eventually stops moving, and he releases her. She slumps to the ground with an audible thud. Maddox stands stiff with anger; he looks at her unmoving body and moments later leaves.

 

I slowly glide over to Lili and look down at her innocent face, so peaceful in death. After a moment she gets up, looks at me and takes my hand. I rejoice in the fact that she won’t have to cower in fear any longer because I am taking her to her own little kingdom; a kingdom where only beautiful souls like her go. We walk hand in hand into the light as I guide her to a familiar figure; a figure not familiar to her eyes, but to her heart. I wait until Lili runs and collides with her mother in a loving embrace to turn around and make my retreat. I slip back into the house Lili once inhabited to find her father, but this time when I wait for his moment I know that I’m taking him to a different kind of kingdom.

 

 

There are some nights where you find yourself

Gazing up into the bottomless void

With longing clawing its way from your throat

And hot tears singeing the backs of your eyes.

Your skin prickles from the pull off the cosmos

As every breath mocks two grounded lungs.

 

Then there are most nights,

When you keep your head down turned

With starlight replaced by artificial halos.

You violently smile to no one in particular,

And pretend to be ignorant,

Of your own immeasurable ignorance.

 

ABUSED

Ragged, scared, abused.

Cries unheard.

Mouths famished.

Hell is for children.

PEDOPHILE

Undisguised,

Stalking smallest wonders

To quench the devil

Hidden inside.

SCHOOL VIOLENCE

Red painted hallways

Faces splashed with fear.

Words left unspoken

As life disappears.

Sitting and watching the trees sway in the warm breeze could never get old to me, or at least I never thought it could. Nowadays, the trees look withered, and their leaves look wilted and brown. Actually, most things look like that now, like everything is slowly dying, slow enough where you don’t notice it right away. I can’t stand to look at those wilting trees… it breaks my heart every time I remember how they used to be, how we used to be, how the world used to be.

No one really believed that there were monsters that went bump in the night, not until we came out and told them; the “we” being vampires, were-animals, fairies, elves, witches, and other said creatures. The humans kind of lost it. Okay, not kind of, they completely lost it, but I guess that’s expected, right? I had hope that it would turn out differently, but now I know that my wishing was all for nothing. The war is finally over, but the effects of it won’t go away just as quickly. So many people died because they were afraid. Fear has always brought out the worst in people. The humans were terrified of the unknown while we were afraid of not being accepted. Both sides were jittery with apprehension for the future, and neither side had any idea what was in store for them. So now the world is in shambles, and roughly half of the population is dead.

Lately I’ve been lying around day dreaming about what could have happened if we had all just tried a little harder to understand each other… oh, and if the humans hadn’t tried to annihilate us. Things could have been great, no more hiding, no more lies. Sadness consumes me for a brief second, but I quickly shove it down. I just miss my family, I miss my old life, and I miss the normalcy of my routine in the world. I get startled out from my day dream by an annoying tug on my long, blonde hair. I jump up and whirl around to see a tall man leaning up against the side of a dying tree with one of the most irritating smirks I’ve ever seen placed on his handsome and cocky face.

“Who are you, and what are you doing sneaking up on people like that?!” I yell, mostly out of embarrassment for being caught off guard.

His smile grows even wider as he looks me up and down. “I didn’t sneak up on you. You’re the one who was so out of it you didn’t even hear me walk up,” his tone implying how careless I had been for letting a stranger sneak up on me at such a vulnerable moment.

I feel the heat rush upwards as a bright red scorches my face. I get even angrier at this and pull out my machete attached to my hip. His eyes grow wide as he puts his hands up and slowly backs away a step, the smile never leaving his face.

I stand there and take my time admiring his handsome face and lean body. His golden, tan skin stretched over his hard, taught muscles captivates me as I let my eyes roam over his masculine physique. I begrudgingly admit to myself that he’s exactly my type and I wonder how his teeth are so sparkling white. I mean, who has time to brush their teeth every day during a monster apocalypse? It infuriates me how gorgeous he is, and how captivated I am by him. I realize that I’ve been staring at him for longer than I should have been and finally get enough of my brain cells working to speak.

“What are you smiling about,” I seethe.

“Nothing,” he responds calmly. “You’re just cute when you’re angry.”

“Cute?! You think this is cute,” I roar as I surge into the air to land on him and take him down to the ground with me on top, my machete pressed firmly against his throat.

“Extremely,” he murmurs softly so as not to cut himself on my sharp blade.

I feel my face start to tighten into a grim scowl and I forcibly try to smooth the wrinkles I’m no doubt creating on my face. I look down into his sparkling gray eyes and wonder why he still has that infuriating smile plastered on his face. “Who are you?” I practically hiss.

“Gabriel.” The smile momentarily leaving his face before being replaced by a quizzical expression. “Why were you lying on the ground outside by yourself?”

I pause for a brief moment before answering. “I was thinking about what it would have been like if the war hadn’t started,” I utter the words and instantly regret them, wishing that my face would not betray my feelings of embarrassment. How could I possibly have felt that telling him the truth was a good idea?

His face slowly stretches into one of his usual grins, “You must be like a white witch or something, right?”

“What? No, I’m not, why would you say that?”

“Oh, you know, the whole lying on the dirty ground thing, in a forest, thinking about peaceful alternatives to war. Just sounds like something a white witch would do.” He lets out a quick yet strained laugh, and I realize that I still have my machete pressed against his throat. I slowly take my blade off of his throat and climb to my feet while keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t try to do anything rash.

“Well, I’m not a white witch.”

“Alright, well what are you then?”

“I’m none of your business, that’s what.”

He gives a short chuckle. “Awe, don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like what? I don’t even know you. Just leave me alone.” I tried to really mean what I said, but I knew that my words rang false. I had been searching for other people for a while now and had no luck. Of course, when I do find someone he turns out to be the most exasperating man I’ve ever met. I honestly have the worst luck.

“Oh come on, I bet I’m one of the first people you’ve seen in a long time. You’re craving for social interaction, everybody does.”

The truth in his words made me even more enraged. I didn’t like how he saw right through me; saw through the façade I put up so that I didn’t get hurt. Living like this isn’t easy, and it’s hard to trust people when you don’t know if they’re human and trying to kill you…which reminds me. “What are you?”

He pauses, clearly taken aback by my change in subject. “What’s it to you? What do you think I am?”

I consider my answer carefully and finally respond, “Warlock?”

He smiles and sprawls out on a patch of moss, “No, guess again.”

I release an impatient sigh, “I’m not playing this game with you.”

“Fine, what are you?”

I lift one eyebrow and give him my best dirty look, “Necromancer and succubus.” The words come easily from my lips but it wasn’t always like that. Knowing what I was as a little girl had been hard. I had just wanted to be like everyone else; I had just wanted to be normal. Even in the supernatural community I was considered strange. Being able to raise zombies and control vampires was almost as weird to some of the supernatural community as it would have been to humans. And my other ability; being able to feed off of sexual energy and kill people with my touch, was considered extremely rare. The second gift came later in life though; only after I had gone through puberty.

I try to read his facial expressions and gauge his reaction. His grin only grows wider to the point where his flawless white teeth are on full display.

“Sexual zombie queen, I like it.”

I give an irritated moan, pivot around, and start walking in the opposite direction, trying to get as far away as possible from him. I don’t even care that he’s utterly gorgeous anymore, and one of the only people I’ve seen in a long time, his personality completely ruins it. How could such a handsome man be such a childish boy?

“Wait!” He yells after me, “I never got your name!”

“Good! Leave me alone.”

He quickly catches up to me, and I quicken my stride in a last ditch effort to lose him. “Why are you so quick tempered?” he inquires. Not even flinching at my attempt to get away from him. “Shouldn’t you be happy that you finally met someone, and not just any someone, a very attractive, handsome someone.” He flashes me a brief yet flirty smile.

“Cocky much? And no, I’m not happy. I’d much rather be alone than hang out with a guy as annoying as you.”

“Ouch. You don’t have to be so mean.”

“I’m not mean, I’m honest.”

“Yeah sure, that’s only what mean people say so that they don’t look hateful.”

I heave a sigh of frustration.

“You sigh a lot. Is that like my cue to go away or something?”

“Actually it is. Get the hint?”

“You know I like you, you’re funny.”

“Great, exactly what I wanted.” I respond in my most sarcastic and displeased tone.

“Look, you’re a pretty girl, I’m a handsome guy, were like the last people on earth, you know what that means, right?”

“No, please inform me. I’d love to hear what that means.”

He chuckles then states, “It means that we have to have beautiful babies and repopulate the earth.” I glance over at his face and let out a laugh of my own because his face is priceless. His facial expression is just so serious and honest that you know that he’s messing with you.

“Aha! I got a giggle out of you, finally!”

I instantly sober up and frown, “I don’t giggle.”

“Sure you don’t,” he replies, while pretend zipping his lips shut.

I roll my eyes and keep on walking, not sure where I’m headed, but honestly I never do. He keeps pace with me, and we don’t speak for an exceedingly long time. Finally, he breaks the silence and asks, “So you still haven’t told me your name.”

I quickly glance over at his tall, built physique and hastily look away, “Winter Rae.”

“Ahh, now I get it. Ice Queen, huh?”

I grimace and quicken my pace. “Sorry, sorry, just a joke,” he adds quickly. I keep quiet and walk on and after a while a thought occurs to me, “You never told me what you were.”

“I…what? Oh, ummm, ya know, just a regular boogie woogie like you.” I peek over at him between a curtain of my fallen hair, “A boogie woogie?”

“Yeah,” he says hurriedly while avoiding eye contact.

I stop in my tracks and stare at him, stunned. “You’re human!” I wail. I try to back away as fast as possible, but I trip over a root from a large tree and fall back onto my ass. I begin to crab walk backwards all the while fearfully watching this enormous man that could easily snap my neck if he really wanted to. He doesn’t move the whole time, he just watches me with a startled look on his face, and his arms outstretched in an “I won’t hurt you” kind of gesture; like I was an animal that he didn’t want to frighten.

“Get away from me! Get away!” I scream.

He desperately tries to calm me, slowly taking a few steps forward, “I’m not going to hurt you. Please! Listen to me!”

I ignore his pleads and proceed to climb to my feet and sprint away. I jump over fallen branches, and duck under sharp twigs, leaves crunching under foot, and heart racing so fast that it felt like it was going to wrench itself out from my chest. I can hear his steps close behind me and getting closer with every ticking second, his legs much longer than mine and far stronger. I push with everything I’ve got, but it’s not enough. I’m tackled to the ground and pressed firmly to the dirt floor. “Look,” he begs, “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve been on my own for so long, and I don’t care what you are. Not all humans want to destroy you guys. Please, just listen to me for one fucking second!” I squirm and fight to get out from under him but soon come to the realization that it’s no use and give up. I lie limp in his grasp, my face pressed securely on the dry leaves. I guess he sensed my defeat, because he slowly loosens his hold on me. “Now, if I let you up you won’t run, right?” he probes. I slowly shake my head back and forth in affirmation. He then lets out a sigh of relief and releases me. I lie there for a few seconds to let him know that I won’t run, and then gently stand up from my position on the ground. I calmly look him in the eye and wait for him to make the next move.

“Look, I meant what I said. Not all humans want to kill you guys. I didn’t want the war to start in the first place, but…” he stumbles over his words, fumbling for something to say.

I release the breath I had been holding and reply, “I believe you. I just got scared, I’m sorry,” I quickly look away from his probing eyes.

“No, don’t be. Ummm, so how about we go find some grub to eat,” his change in subject surprises me, and I laugh.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that,” I mumble as my face turns scarlet. He gives me one of his charming yet irritating smiles, and a thought quickly flits across my mind. When I think of the future now…I have hope that we’ll be able to coexist without the hiding and the hate.

We start to walk toward a cluster of abandoned buildings and life goes on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I‘m not afraid of the most severe
storm
Not afraid of the effects of global warming
Not afraid I might not wake
the next
dawn

But I’m scared of Loving You

Not afraid of going bankrupt
or when the volcano might erupt
Not afraid to go to
War
Not afraid to be shipwrecked
on a lone shore
Not afraid
of being locked up for
a crime
Not afraid of the passage of
time

But I’m scared of Loving You

I don’t fear the
deep blue sea
Not afraid of the most
deadly disease
Not afraid to admit that there
are people in this
world I can’t help
or please
Not afraid to say
I’m not perfect

But I’m afraid to admit that
Loving You
is worth it

Not afraid of the
dark
Or when the end of the
earth
will start
Or the fact that I will
grow old
I guess that’s just how
life goes

But I’m afraid of Loving You
Loving You
means I have to let down my
guard
That I have to admit
I fell for you
hard
It means I have to take
the chance that
love may
hurt me
and I have to
take the road of
Loves journey

And if love fails
I have to endure
the
heartbreak

I have never told anyone this
but with you I have
to speak the truth

I’m
Scared Of Loving You

Fate spins and sways

As a watch does on a chain

A small white stick

Impatience is overwhelming

Life stands on a balance

And on an edge of a cliff

What is to come tips and falls

 

Two pink lines

Stomach surges, heart pounds

Panic rolls and floods through

Lips dry, blood boils

Death to the man who caused this

 

Feelings caper about

One as the leader

Skipping and then falling

Another takes it place

Fear and devastation

Then delight and joy

Finally the want for blood

 

Death to the man who caused this

If only he had controlled himself

If only he held it in

Better to have cut it off than put it into hell

If only I would have known better

If only it wasn’t true

The angel growing within me