The Life Of Riley by Linda McMullen

I had been looking forward to lunch – I’d met Taylor and Alyssa at Parent/Child Pilates and (unlike Nicole, Samantha, Claire, and Leah) they hadn’t squinched away – and I’d scored 12:15 Saturday reservations at The Porch, a surf-and-turf restaurant with an outdoor seating area, a cedar deck over the river – and now Taylor’s Lily is French-braiding her American Girl doll’s hair and Alyssa’s James is paging through The Monster at the End of This Book with a Princetonian air and my Riley has gotten her head lodged in the lattice.  

She just hasn’t realized it yet.

A few moments ago, she demolished her spaghetti, then detected the cinnamon-tinted-diamond fence ringing the eating area.  Obviously, if her head fit, it was meant to traverse that magical threshold.

Three, I think.  Two.  One…

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” begins Riley.  I sally forth to extract my panicky, stentorian, flailing-limbed young land-octopus from her paling necklace.  I think of how many weeks of pilates it has taken to overcome the inherently misnamed “pants incident”.  How many yoga mat owners have embraced tactical retreat once our purple-pineapple floor-banner unfurled.  How many micro-bladed eyebrows have arched.  I try talking her through it.  I crane her delicate neck left and right, like the finicky faucet of an antique shower.  Nope.  Then I’m trying to coax the head backward: an anti-birth.  

I fail.  

As I susurrate, chanting the eternal mother’s mantra, It’s going to be OK, I’m lying to myself and to her.  Because she’s always going to be the child who gets her head stuck in the fence.  

All nearby mothers arrange a dutiful fireman’s (firewoman’s?) brigade, passing me pats of butter, napkins, water, the weight of their smug judgment.  Alyssa moves to comfort James, who has dropped his Little Golden Book to clutch his tiny peachy ears.  Lily is demanding her mother cede her own ponytail holder to secure the braid for Blaire, a detail which seems sadly spot-on.  Riley’s animal screams have brought dining to a standstill four restaurants away.  

She has so much energy, my mother always says, charitably.  

Hence the pilates.  Our rec department had gotten imaginative, realizing they had to appeal/cater to Working Moms Who Rue Those Lingering Ten Postpartum Pounds But Feel Guilty About Taking Any Time Away From Their Children During the Weekends.  So they offer the equally democratic “Parent/Child Yoga” and “Parent/Child Tai Chi”, even though it’s eleven mothers and one bemused, widowed father.  They don’t have Branded Exercise for Desperate Introverts Who Love Their Children But Don’t Particularly Like Them.

Ten minutes later, after the real fire brigade has arrived but before they’ve tested their axes, I ease Riley’s head out.  She promptly burrows into my chest, her tears leaving a dark spot directly over my nipple.  Taylor and Alyssa coo haikus:

We’re so glad she’s safe

We had a lovely time but

Better get going.

Riley waves to the other two children; they don’t wave back.  She looks up at me with haunted squid eyes.

It’s going to be OK, I murmur.

Linda McMullen is a wife, mother, diplomat, and homesick Wisconsinite. Her short stories and the occasional poem have appeared in over one hundred fifty literary magazines. She may be found on Twitter: @LindaCMcMullen.

Weep by Alex Gibson

She grasps her wife’s wedding bouquet,

a teardrop glistens in the day.

The masses of black merely stare,

they recite the final prayer.

She flails her arms in agony, 

flowers upon mahogany.

Into the ground the box must go,and all her love to depths below.

Alex Gibson is a full time student at Hagerstown Community College. They enjoy writing poetry and short stories. They currently have no published work. 

The Bath by Alex Gibson

The warm embrace and languid touch of love,

dim lights that glow and drip their melted wax,

their shapes that dance on darkened paint above,

she flips a tattered page, a simple act, 

yet full of hearty joy, and passion pure, 

the love of other things persists to wane, 

the water’s echo brings a blissful lure,

to stay, to keep the tranquil peace maintained, 

to keep the water still,  to make no wave, 

for warmth and ease are lovely pleasant things, 

and leisure’s marriage ought to be saved,

it’s come together, save eternal rings,

her parting time has come, she stands despaired,

a wish for one more breath in calming air.

Alex Gibson is a full time student at Hagerstown Community College. They enjoy writing poetry and short stories. They currently have no published work. 

Over by Alex Gibson

He grips the door handle.

His woolen coat absorbing the stained

glass light.

She had loved that glass window, 

the way the evening sun set

the birds and flowers alight.

The greens and browns reflected

on the aged carpet.

The way when he sat on the sofa, 

reading the paper the dying light

struck his thin framed glasses. 

Set his eyes on fire.

It was beautiful.

Now it’s not. 

He grips the door handle. 

She stands in the kitchen, holding her 

lasagna, the heat seeping through

her worn pot holders.

She used to love making her mother’s 

lasagna.

How he would devour it and sing

her praises.

She loved the way that after every meal he’d 

rise and take care of the dishes, 

letting her sit and relax.

It was wonderful.

Now it’s not. 

He opens the door, 

with one last look at her.

A burdened sigh and he steps out, 

the door gently shut behind him.

The lights have dimmed. 

The lasagna cooled. 

She sets the pan down and retires

to their bedroom.

Well, to her bedroom. 

Alex Gibson is a full time student at Hagerstown Community College. They enjoy writing poetry and short stories. They currently have no published work. 

Red Strings by Alyssa Dampf

“Now I want you to repeat after me. Three, two, one. One, two, three.”

“Three, two, one. One, two, three.”

“Three, three, one. One, three, three.”

“Three, three, one. One, three, three.”

“Two, one, three. Three, one, two.”

“Two, one, three. Three, one, two.”

“Good, good. Your head appears to be intact. You heard me, followed directions, and spoke clearly. All very good signs.”

“Where am I?”

“You are currently in my scientific experiment facility, which is just a fancy way to say, ‘my workroom.’ Do not worry, I won’t be experimenting on you today.”

“Why can’t I see?”

“Hm? You can’t? Well, that’s unusual. Your eyes are open, after all.”

“Huh?!”

“I’m kidding. You have a blindfold on, and it’s dimly lit in here. You mean you can’t feel the cloth on your eyes? Never mind, we have more important things to do here.”

“Like what? Why am I here?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out sooner. Come on, wrack your brain for memories. What do you see?”

Blood.

Fire.

Gasoline.

“An accident.”

“Very good. Your memories are still there. Now, do you see any faces around you?”

Fire.

Smoke.

Asphalt.

“No.”

“Really? Try looking a little closer.”

Pressure.

Pain.

Blood.

“I see a man.”

“Short or long hair?”

“Short.”

“How tall is he?”

“Five eleven.”

“Precisely? You seem very certain of this.”

“I know who he is.”

“Is he holding anything?”
Silver.
Rust.

Charcoal.

“A knife.”

“Is there blood on the knife?”

“Yes.”

“I see. Is there anyone else around you?”

Tar.

Gasoline.

Blood.

“No. Just me and him.”

“Hm. Thank you for your cooperation. Now let me get that for you.”

The blindfold was removed.

You look around at your surroundings. The room is lit dimly with scented candles that give off a distinct wine smell. A small white room with machinery you don’t understand in the corner. The lights are glowing. The screen shows the image of a brain. You can only assume it’s your own.

You turn your head to the right. There is a side table with a vase of white lilies and blood-stained tissues. Once again, you can only assume it’s your own blood.

Your eyes have finished adjusting to the light and fixate on the person standing in front of you. A woman with black hair in a high ponytail stands before you, red eyes taking you in. She stares deep into yours, but you don’t feel discomfort or unease. She is comfort. She is familiarity. The cloth that once covered your eyes is in her hands, stained with blood. 

“This isn’t the hospital,” you say.

“Well, duh,” she replies. “I told you where we are already.”

“So why have I been brought here?”

She tsked. “I’d think you’d have figured that out. Tell me, do you really remember what happened?”

“Of course I do!” you insist.

“Then show me. Let me see.”

Your memories shift and you are in a car. No, it’s your car. You saved up for months working nonstop to buy it. Your very first car and it wasn’t cheap. You’ve had it for several years now, but it still works like a charm.
Your hands are on the steering wheel. Beside you is a man. He sits straight, eyes fixed on the road while his hands lay flat on his lap. This is unusual behavior.

“Are you okay ————?” You hear the words come out of your mouth. Strange. You’re sure you know this man. Why can’t you remember his name?

The man smiles at you, but it isn’t warm or comforting. You recall his usual smile being much nicer than this. “I’m okay,” he tells you. “Don’t worry about me. Just keep driving.”

“Where are we?” you ask. “This looks like the middle of nowhere. Is this really the right way?”

“We’ll make it to the city soon,” he assures you. “Relax. It’ll all be over soon.”

You cringe at the words. You didn’t know what he meant then. You thought the car ride would be over and you would make it to your destination without a hitch. You thought he said to relax because you were getting stressed and that was bad for driving.

You didn’t anticipate his hands jerking the wheel.

You didn’t anticipate the guard rail being broken where he turned the car.

You didn’t anticipate the knife puncturing your throat. 

You didn’t anticipate the cliff with jagged rocks waiting over the edge for you.

Your vision goes red as you tumble. Pain shoots up from every part of your body. The puncture in your throat has it filling your mouth with blood. You gargle on it, unable to breathe properly. It tastes bitter. Metallic. You’re going to die. 

You aren’t sure when the tumbling stopped. Your body still feels like it’s moving. You see him making his way towards you amongst the wreckage. He’s holding a gallon of something. He pours it over you and the car wreckage. It stings. It’s gasoline. You try to ask him why he’s doing this, but all you can do is cough out blood. 

He strikes a match and throws it on you.

Fire spurs instantly, spreading from your body to the car, burning everything around you. Smoke clouds your vision. 

 He’s holding a rusted silver knife in a gloved hand, stained with blood. Your blood. He turns around and tosses the knife into the flames. You try to understand why this is happening to you. It doesn’t matter at this point. The smell of burning flesh and blood floods your senses. You can’t breathe. You’re choking. You’re dying. 

In an instant, you’re back. You look at your skin, but there are no burns. It’s soft, smooth. There are no marks or imperfections on your body. You sit up and notice a mirror at the foot of the bed. You take it up and look at your reflection.

What do you see? Is it your face? Describe what you look like. Notice every detail, from the tiny pores on your nose to the way your eyes twitch just slightly when you’re trying to focus. What color are they? What color is your skin? I want to hear your voice. Tell me out loud.

You sound lovely. 

There is no gravel to your voice. It’s perfectly clear.

Everything is as it should be aside from a faded scar on your neck.

You were burned alive and yet your body shows no signs of that being the case.

“Who are you?” you ask. You clearly died, and yet this woman somehow managed to bring you back to life.

She rolls her eyes at you. “Call me Jiejie if you must,” she says. She walks over to the end of the room and flips the light switch. The fluorescent light fills up the room, allowing you to see everything with more clarity. She walks over to the left of the room where a desk sits under a large murder board. You lean to try and get a closer look. Red strings are dotted across the board thumb-tacked on several maps and articles you can’t read. You do manage to make out photos of different people attached to every article. There aren’t any similarities between them appearance wise.

Jiejie picks up a small portrait. Curiosity gets you out of bed, but your legs crumple under your weight and you hit the floor. She hastily sets down the photos and lifts you up.

“Your body is still weak,” she tells you. “Don’t try and move.”

But you know, don’t you? The story is coming to an end soon, and you still have questions. Go on. Ask to see the murder board.

“I want to have a closer look.”

She puts her arm around your waist and helps you to the murder board. You skim through the articles. They are all about different people dying; some are labeled as accidents, some as murders. Those have “Unsolved” stamped in big bold letters. 

The center of the board catches your attention. A picture of man who killed you is right there. Right in front of an article about his suicide three years ago. You still can’t make out his name.

Beside him, you see yourself connected to him with a red string. Car accident. Six months ago.

“He killed you, right?”

You nod. 

Her smile is dark. “Looks like I was right then. Now I just have to find him.”

You want to ask why, but she’s picked up the portrait again. There’s a photo of a boy with her face. You look back up to the board to see that same boy with a string attached to the man. 

“What will you do once you find him?”

She turns to you. “Kill him myself.”

She helps you back to your bed and hands you a phone. Your phone. 

“Call your parents. They miss you.”

And as your story ends, she walks out the door. But don’t worry; just because your story is closing, doesn’t mean your journey is over. You’ve been given a second chance. Live.

Hm? Who am I? Oh, don’t worry about that. Just live.

We’ve reached the end. Please forget about me.

Please.

Forget. 

Alyssa Dampf was born in 2002 and raised in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania. While having many hobbies growing up such as ballet, drawing, and video games, her true love has always been writing stories. She has explored many different genres since she learned how to write and is excited to explore many more. 


Walking In Place by Joshua Faith

I’m no longer in North Carolina,

and it’s so different; the

trees are 

Different the grass is

Different.

I can smell that the air is

Different.

Is this even the same sky?

It can’t be, but when does something become different?

When I first see it? 

Or is it when I plant my feet onto it; caress it with all that’s in me, 

and finally, let go and tell myself:

“Everything’s changing, and you won’t ever be the same.”

Each finger knows, however,

unknowingly

the shape of all that fills this world.

The molecules that make me up will soon grow tired and self 

destruct, yet here I lie, touching dirt on my floor,

surrounded by my crumbling skin, I’ve noticed I shed more now.

This crumbling half-life has always been over,

yet as it becomes what I call Different

I find my breath will flow and ebb.

Growing weight, sloughing off.

It’s so hard to quantify, just like how I half love myself and three quarters love everyone around me.

But only five sixteenths believe that everything is different.

Joshua Faith is practically an adult. He is currently deciding what he likes to write and lives in Hagerstown, MD, where he was born and raised. His works have yet to be published, but will still be produced regardless.

As of Yet, Untitled by Joshua Faith

My mind swims in pools of eventuality.

To escape there is no remedy, save one.

Save one person a day, other than myself.

If I am not in one pool I must be in another.

There are hardly any hands reaching in to drag me back home

But I only think that because I am selfish and heartless.

A daymare squirms out from under a paper-thin rock to proclaim me heartless.

I scramble out of my head, avoiding that word, that eventuality,

and find myself in my too-warm home.

But I cannot change a thing about my surroundings, not one

degree lower or higher, and when it comes to my choice of home, it’s not like I have another.

The floor is hidden beneath dirt and debris, and everyone is too busy to clean. Including myself.

Can you blame me for retreating back into myself?

Please don’t look at me like I’m heartless,

I’d do anything, take you anywhere you want, if you keep me and not another.

But with self-absorbed bargains like that, your departure is an eventuality.

I think, “I can move on if I beat this thought and start to love myself for once. If I beat this one.”

But how can I do that if I’m home?

Because I’m home,

And nothing ever changes, not even myself.

Why do I try to be the only one

who’s heartless?

It has to be an eventuality

that I’ll meet another.

I have to connect with another, 

I must find my Home Away from Home.

Everyone does it, right? It’s an eventuality.

I can’t always be by myself,

even though nothing changes, I don’t feel as heartless

anymore. Because I don’t feel like I’m the only one.

If we cherish one

another 

I don’t think we’ll be heartless.

We can shape ourselves into a new home,

and I won’t have to be by myself.

Can I stay in this eventuality?

But what if there’s only one home.

What if there is no another, only myself?

What is this heartless existence? The most selfish eventuality.

Joshua Faith is practically an adult. He is currently deciding what he likes to write and lives in Hagerstown, MD, where he was born and raised. His works have yet to be published, but will still be produced regardless.

On Accepting Love When You Have Been Conditioned To Question It by Mina Foutch

By now, love feels like the rusted over 

handlebars of a bicycle. 

A familiar place of unpretty age

and the resistance to touch. 

It is the years gone by 

and the times you were told to leave 

your heart at the door, 

(along with your coat, sensibility and handbag) 

and to enter this house 

without wondering why the counters are so polished. 

By now, love is so forgettable 

it is the smooth scent of September. 

It is a funny accent on an untrained tongue. 

It is a match doused in sink water 

that is put to a candle and told to make fire. 

You have felt love in so many ways 

with so many ruthless endlings 

that you have started to peel apart your own brain. 

You have started to ask yourself 

why rosebuds must wait for rain 

in order to grow into something with thorns. 

And when the thought of love creeps 

its way back into your room at night, 

you ponder the way you are good at molding 

your clay body into something for others 

to use and stick on a shelf. 

And the way you are good at giving 

your heart away in full sentences 

at 100 miles per hour in a school zone;

and by now, you are wondering if maybe your ooey-gooey, 

glue and glitter, craft paper love is unable to be received and reciprocated. 

But know this:

Love will arrive when love is meant to. 

And when it does, it will come crashing into you 

like a tidal wave from somewhere you’ve never been. 

It will rain into your skin with the texture of salt water taffy– 

waxy and heavy and delicious. 

And it will bring you Grand Canyon air, 

and when it does, you will fear how far the fall is 

from the sedimentary rocks. You will fear the drop 

and the way your heart once climbed out of your own chest 

and forfeited itself onto your beaten up shoes.  

But this time, when love plants a kiss upon your forehead, 

know it is the truth. 

Mina Foutch is a writer and college student from Hagerstown, Maryland, that enjoys expressing her mind in stories, poems and songs by diving into the grime of reality. She has also been previously published in magazines such as HeARTbreaker Mag and Suburban Rose Mag and is in the process of crafting a poetry chapbook. Known for her raw emotions and nitty gritty details, she flourishes in the art, and hopes you are left with an aftertaste of her work. 

Untitled by Simon Perchik

As if these sleeves are cooled

and that slow roll

you’re still not used to

left one arm in the open

struggling, almost holds on –the tattoo

helps, smells from flowers

kept cold though it’s an old shirt

given your bare skin

for its years, months, minutes

and the exact place held close

licking the ice from your shoulders

your breasts and the flowers.

Simon Perchik is an attorney whose poetry has appeared in Partisan Review, The Nation, The New Yorker and elsewhere.  His latest book is titled “Family of Man” (Cholla Needles Library 2021).

Untitled by Simon Perchik

Not with the light itself

lifting this page closer

though the breeze already left 

–you need glasses, the kind

crystal-gazers use

and for centuries would weep

to birds that go on living 

–cockpit-glass! pressed

against your forehead

by wings and distances 

–in the end the book too

will lose its slack, approach

with the window in front

closed and even its shadow

had no chance to escape.

Simon Perchik is an attorney whose poetry has appeared in Partisan Review, The Nation, The New Yorker and elsewhere.  His latest book is titled “Family of Man” (Cholla Needles Library 2021).