Alone.
It was the one word that perfectly described Jessica in that moment. Her eyes darted around the busy school corridor as hundreds of students chattered amongst themselves while they hurried down the crowded hallway. In the midst of the chaos, she appeared to be anything but alone. Jessica, however, felt differently.
I can’t let any of them know.
She kept repeating those words in her mind as she brushed past her fellow students as quickly as she could. She hadn’t expected her first week of college to turn out like this.
It had all started in biology class. The words her new teacher had spoken kept echoing through her mind. “Big Bang Theory…things just came into being…There’s no such thing as God…”
Jessica squeezed her eyes shut to block out the memory of that class. Her heart ached to think of those words that had been spoken.
But, although she firmly believed in God and that He is the Creator of the universe, Jessica had regretted speaking up to her teacher the moment the words had left her lips. After being criticized by Ms. Benson, she had quickly learned to keep quiet and not speak out. In that moment she had decided that no one else would ever know of her convictions and beliefs. To the public, she would appear to accept her teacher’s statement and not question it.
Jessica sighed deeply. The truth was, not only did she question the statements of her science teacher, she highly disagreed with them! But that will just have to be my secret. No one else needs to know.
As the weeks continued, Jessica did manage to keep her beliefs a secret from the other
students and teachers. When the public saw her no one would ever guess that her beliefs were any different. However, her biology class was becoming increasingly offensive to her faith every day.
“What are you doing about the situation, Jess?” her mother asked her one day as they were talking on the telephone.
“Nothing,” Jessica admitted ashamedly, “I tried to speak up, but my teacher wouldn’t listen to me. So I’ve learned to just keep quiet in class. However, now I have to write and deliver a speech in favor of the evolutionary theory. Mom, I just can’t do that, but I could fail this class if I don’t!”
“Only you can make this decision on what to do, Jessica,” her mom answered her lovingly.
Jessica went about her day barely concentrating on her classes. When lunchtime came, she found a quiet place outside under an oak tree where she could be alone and think. Shortly after she had sat down in the grass another student came and sat down beside her.
Jessica looked up and gave a distracted smile. She recognized the girl from her biology class and she remembered her name as Emma.
“Hello, Jessica,” Emma smiled shyly.
“Hi, Emma,” Jessica replied, “How are you?”
Emma shrugged. “I’m okay. I’m just confused about something that I thought you could help me with.”
Jessica hesitated. “Okay, I’ll try.”
“I overheard your conversation with Ms. Benson our first week here.”
Jessica nearly choked on her sandwich. Someone knew of her secret?
“What I heard you say made me start to question the theories we’re being taught in class. Could such an intelligently designed world really come from just a random coincidence such as a big bang?” Emma sighed, “Anyway, I was just wondering, could you share with me some of your beliefs and maybe help me sort some of this out?”
Jessica drew in a shaky breath. Should she really do this? Suddenly, a feeling of guilt seeped into Jessica’s soul. Why were her beliefs a secret anyway? Was she that ashamed of the God of the universe that she wasn’t willing to risk being laughed at? She thought of how her God had held nothing back and had even died for her. How could she have disappointed Him by keeping Him the best kept secret of her college life simply because she was afraid of being laughed at? She knew she couldn’t do that any longer. It was time to stop pretending.
So, after pausing for just a moment, Jessica smiled at Emma and took her hand. “I’d love to help you.”
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Worry grabbed at Jessica’s heart as she wrote the last sentence of her biology speech that was due today. She hadn’t written in favor of the evolutionary theory at all. Her speech was instead constructed of evidence to support a Creation worldview. She knew writing this kind of speech could land her a failing grade.
Jessica reflected back on how she had shared her faith with Emma the previous week. But sharing her long kept secret in a private setting was completely different than putting it out there for the rest of the public to know.
However, she was not content to stay quiet any longer. She had the chance to make a difference and she wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass her by. So with trembling fingers,
she picked up her written speech and sent up a silent prayer to God, the Creator of the universe.
Determined not to keep her faith a secret any longer, she followed the flow of college students headed towards her biology class. With confidence in her step and a smile on her lips, she prepared herself to share openly what she believed in her heart. Because the truth is, the key to faith is not supposed to be about locking it up and keeping it a secret. It is about unlocking it and letting it show.